Only You
by PotterNGranger
Summary: Hermione/Harry story. After the battle of Hogwarts Harry disappears with out a word... only a brief note to Hermione is left with his goodbye. But Hermione won't give up on her friend. She is not a girl who will let you walk out on love.
1. The Mirror

**Authors notes: Hey guys... sorry this is a separate story rather then an Update to What Hermione wants... the next parts are on the way just... I've been feeling alot like Harry in the first half of this new story lately and I felt like I needed to write it... **

**For now this is a one shot, but if you guys like it, I might develop it further into a shorter series. **

**Let me know what you think.**

Hermione Apparated in front of number 12 Girmmuld place. Harry had taken up residence in the old house, or at least this is where the owl's she had been sending him had dropped his mail. They had all gone to the Burrow of course following the Battle of Hogwarts. After all neither she no Harry really had a home to go back to, with Voldemort gone, and Harry of age he had no reason to go back to Privet Drive, and well as for herself, Hermione would only be going back to an empty house full of the memories of what she'd lost.

So they had all gone to the Burrow, but not much more then a week after they had arrived, the day after Fred's Funeral, Harry had disappeared in the middle of the night, disappeared without a word to anyone except for a single note Hermione had found on her pillow, addressed to her, in his handwriting. It had said only three brief sentences:

Thank You Hermione

Please Be Happy.

Goodbye

Hermione nearly broke down to tears thinking about it even now. She had written him constantly, three times a day everyday for the last three weeks, but had not received a single response. Ron had been just as concerned as she … at first, but about a week ago, after it had come out that Harry and Ginny had had some massive fight the night Harry had left, Ron had gotten very bitter, almost nasty towards Harry… and very cold towards Hermione. This had come to a head that morning, when Ron had come down and discovered Hermione penning yet another letter To Harry over Breakfast.

"You're writing him again? What's that about the hundredth letter you've sent him now, and still no response? He's hiding and too right, after the way he hurt my sister, he knows better then to show his face around here again." Ron had said.

"Your right he is hiding, but I'm going to find him, I put a tracking spell on this letter, once it's delivered I'll be able to apparate to him. He's hurting too you know." Hermione had rebutted.

"Oh Yeah and you just know this do you? How can you sit there and defend him, after he used my sister and dumped her when he was done with her, after he hurt my whole family, after he got my brother killed fighting his war." Ron had built into a rage.

"That's not fair Ron, you know there's more to it then that. I know because this is Harry, my best friend. I don't just know he's hurting… I feel it… don't you?" Hermione asked him.

"Meriln you're unbelievable you know that, you always take his side! Harry left without a word to anyone! I don't seem to recall you coming chasing after me last year!" Ron yelled at her.

"That's because you abandoned us… not the other way round!" Hermione had had enough by this point she wasn't going to sit there while Ron compared himself walking out on Harry and her last year, when they were on the run, being hunted by every dark wizard in Britain, to Harry leaving now after he'd saved all their lives and knew everyone to be safe.

"Fine! Go then, if he'll even let you find him. But if you go out that door after Potter, then DON'T COME BACK." Ron had screamed at her.

"Ron…" Hermione fought back the tears swelling to her eyes, "I'm sorry Ron… but I won't be made to choose… and I won't abandon my friend. So if that's how you feel about it… then Goodbye Ron… Please be Happy." With that she had stepped out the door and disapperated.

That is how Hermione had come to find herself standing here in front of Sirius old house. Pulling herself together, she grabbed hold of the door knocker and rapped thrice.

"Master is not taking any company today… or ever." A voice said from the other side which Hermione knew to belong to Kreacher.

"Kreacher you open this door right now, or I'll… I'll make sure you get given a sock!" Hermione demanded.

"You is not Kreachers master, you can't be setting Kreacher free." The voice replied

"Want to put that to the test?" Hermione asked. Evidently the answer was no because the door creaked open slowly.

"Where is he Kreacher?" Hermione asked as she entered the long dark entrance hall. Some how this place looked even more dank and dreary then it ever had. When she'd been here in the past at least it had been full of life, first with the order, then with the three of them together, now there was only Kreacher. Though the house had always been dark, there had at least been light enough to see your way, now it was complete darkness, save for a single flickering light coming from…

"The Drawing Room, master is always looking there." Kreacher said and then popped away, to where Hermione couldn't say. She walked cautiously towards the faint source of light. As she entered the drawing room she found Harry, he was sitting on one of the couches they had used for a bed all those months ago, with his back to the entrance of the room, starring into a large gold trimmed vanity sized mirror.

Hermione made to approach Harry softly, but instead created a rather loud clinking sound as her foot kicked one of the dozens of bottles scattered around the floor, there by announcing her presence. "Kreacher I've told you to leave me be." Harry said without turning round.

_He thinks it's Kreacher? Can't he see my reflection in the mirror?_

"I'm afraid I can't do that Harry." Hermione replied.

"hmm… Odd I've never heard one of them speak before…" Harry muttered bemused

Hermione took a closer look at the mirror on which Harry's gaze was transfixed. Inscribbed around the top where the words: Erised Stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. Suddenly Hermione understood; it was the mirror of Erised. It wasn't showing him a reflection of the room, it was showing him a reflection of his heart.

Hermione walked up beside him placed a hand on his shoulder so he would feel she was real and not a fantasy of the mirror. "It's me Harry, the real me, It's Hermione." Harry's head turned from the mirror to her hand on his shoulder, she watched as his eyes followed from the hand up her arm until they found her own.

"Hermione… why are you here?" Harry asked

"Why am I here?" She said taking a seat beside him on the couch. "You disappear in the middle of the night without a word, you don't respond to my letters for weeks, and you ask why I'm here? Where else would I be?" Hermione questioned him.

"I did leave a note for you." Harry replied.

"You mean this?" Hermione said pulling the note out of her pocket and handing it to him. "Thank you, be happy, and goodbye? You call that an explanation?"

"It's all I could say,… and still give you a chance to be, anyway." Harry replied

"Oh, and how exactly am I supposed to do that Harry? How am I supposed to be happy when my best friend has just up and disappeared from my life?" Tears were forming in her eyes again; Hermione didn't think she was going to be able to fight them back this time.

"Hermione please don't cry over me" Harry said

"Too late" she sobbed, a single tear breaking free and rolling down her cheek. Harry took her face in his right hand, and wiped away the tears with his thumb. "I'm sorry…" He said "… but I'm not worth it… Im not worth anything."

"What?!" How can you say that Harry?" Hermione asked shocked by what he had just said, regardless of anything else he was worth everything to her. Didn't he know that by now?

"I can't answer you Hermione." He said

"Oh yes you can Harry Potter, don't you try to hide from me." Hermione pushed.

"It will only hurt you Hermione." Harry protested.

"Ughhh… some times Harry you really can be thick you know. Do you remember what I said to you, in the astronomy tower a little over a year ago? You were trying to protect me then too, and I told you…" Hermione said

"You told me I was thick then too, said you were coming with me to hunt down Riddle and the Horcruxes… and look what it cost you, your parents,… look what I've cost everyone." Harry interrupted.

"How is it you only ever seem to hear what you want to hear Harry? That is not what I said; I told you I was going with you, no matter what." Hermione corrected him "And yes at the time that meant to fight Voldemort, but that's not what it means." Harry looked confused and slightly ashamed now. "It means I'll always be going with you, no matter how hard it is, or where it takes me, because if it don't…"

She paused for a moment trying to decide how best to make him understand. "Harry in that," she said pointing at the note "…you ask me the impossible, you asked me to please be happy, and then in your very next word you say goodbye. But how can I be happy without my best friend? You are my happiness Harry, there has never been a time in my life where I was happy without you in it, I didn't have anyone before you, and I don't have anyone without you. SO for the last time WHAT'S HAPPENED?"

Harry let out a desperate sigh. "Hermione do you know what that is?" Harry said pointing at the mirror.

"Yes it's the Mirror of Erised." She replied

"And do you know what it does?" Harry asked her.

"It's supposed to show you what it is you want." She answered.

"No…not exactly anyway. Dumbledore described it to me once as showing us nothing more or less, the deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts. He left it too me you know, Scrimgeour just had it delivered here since it wasn't exactly something easily carried about. I think Dumbledore knew that, the mirror, there would come a time when the only way for me to find my happiness would be through it's reflection. " Harry explained.

"I don't understand Harry, why would you leave us to come here I thought you were happy, being free of the prophecy, free to be with Ginny?" Hermione asked puzzled.

"Hermione… I've never really been in love with Ginny, and she… well she was never really in love with Harry." Harry said.

"What…no Harry Ginny has been in love with you since she was 10 years old." Hermione protested.

"Oh she swooned and obsessed certainly… but over the boy who lived, over the chosen one. That's who she has always loved. But that…" Harry clarified

"That's not who you really are? Is that it?" Hermione finished for him. "So then why Harry, what was all of the last two years between you and her?"

"Delusion." Harry offered "Hermione did you notice how quickly I suddenly became infatuated with Ginny in 6th year? How I went from being annoyed by her constant hero worship to paying her no more attention then any of Ron's other siblings… Did you notice how I paid no mind when she was dating creevey, or Michael Corner, … but then suddenly at the start of sixth year when she was dating Dean… I went mad for her?"

"What are you getting at Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Hermione the reason I went so crazy for her was… Ginny was… she was dosing me with love potion." Harry finally managed

"WHAT!?" Hermione exclaimed furiously. "She did what to you?"

"Hermione wait, that's not all of it… She had been dosing me yes… I found out when I saw her pouring a few drops from one of those bottles George and Fred…" Harry paused for a moment at Fred's name "…well one of the love potions they sold at their shop. But do you know what I did?"

"No" Hermione replied not sure where he was going with this.

"Nothing… I drank it anyway, Ginny never knew I'd found out, not until a few weeks ago." Harry finished.

"BUT WHY?" Hermione protested "Why would you let yourself be…?"

"Because Hermione, I realized that day, that that… that was as close as I was ever going to get. No girl was ever going to love me for me, Cho had been the same, projecting Cedric and the chosen one all in one onto me. As for Ginny, she might only love the myth of me but at least it meant she wanted some version of me, and I…I might not really love her, but if I let her keep slipping me the potion, then it could make me love her, and at least I could pretend to be happy. I even kept up with the doses while we were on the run last year." Harry explained.

"You think no one loves the real you Harry? You think now that the prophecy is fulfilled that there is nothing left of you worth while?" Hermione questioned

"For the most part… yeah because it's true. There has only ever been one person who, I think at least, loved me for Harry, and not the Boy Who Lived. But I lost my chance there, with her along time ago. I realized years ago that her heart belongs to someone else. Hermione love potion, it doesn't just force false feelings on you, it distracts you from the real feelings you have. So I was fine with pretending with Ginny." Harry answered

_Who could he be talking about, and if…?_

"Wait a minute, as stuuupid as that plan of yours is, to let yourself be forced to love someone you can't… your still not making any sense, if you really were fine with it then what changed, why did you suddenly leave?"

Harry let out another desperate sigh " The night we buried Fred, Ginny started talking about how close Fred and George had really been, about how she hoped we'd have twins of our own some day."

"Don't you want children Harry? I always thought, after the way you grew up… well haven't you always said you wanted a big family?" Hermione asked him.

"Yes but… Hermione you know what it was, the power the dark lord knew not, what Dumbledore always knew it was?"

"Yes you said it was that he couldn't feel love." Hermione answered puzzled again.

"Yes but it's the why he couldn't feel love that's important Hermione. Tom Riddle was incapable of feeling love because his father had been forced to love his mother, because she had kept him drugged on Amortentia for their entire life together. I could let myself live a life with only the echo of love … but I could never subject a child to the same." Harry said with finality.

"But you didn't have to leave; you didn't have to ignore my letters, even if things couldn't work with Ginny you still had Ron and I, … you still had me Harry." Hermione assured him.

"No Hermione that's just the point. I realized that night that I couldn't keep taking the potion, and that once I stopped my feelings for her would be unbound again..."

_He's talking about that mystery girl again but who is she… _Hermione pondered _It can't be…_

"…but she was already happy, with someone else, and I wasn't going to let anything take that happiness away from her. So I left, I came here, the mirror, it might only be able to show me a shadow… but a shadow is better then nothing." Harry offered.

"Harry, this mystery girl you keep talking about… who is she?" Hermione asked both afraid, and yet desperately hoping she was right.

"It will only Hurt you." Harry said.

"I Don't care!" Hermione insisted "and if I'm right I don't think it will." She replied.

It was Harry's turn to look confused now. He stood up and after pondering for a moment in silence, he took the note off the couch and scribbled down something. Then he said, "If you really want to know, then I'll show you." He turned to stare into the mirror once more, then he offered Hermione his hand and said "I've written down the answer to your question, but before I give it to you, come stand with me, take my hand… and…tell me what you see, if it's not what I think, then I'll give you the note." Harry offered.

"Alright Harry" Hermione took Harry's hand and watched the mirror for any sign of change. So far all she could see was Herself and Harry standing there holding hands.

"Well?" Harry asked

"I don't know… I don't think it's working Harry, I just see…" Hermione began. Then the figures in the mirror began to move. The Hermione in the mirror turned and put her arms around Harry's neck, mirror Harry did the same but around her waist. Then her mirror self guided him down into the most passionate kiss the real Hermione had ever seen or even dreamt of.

Hermione's face went flushed. Somehow she had always known this was what she had wanted but thought she could never have. _Was this… was this what Harry saw too?_

"Hermione…" Harry said. "Open the note."

It had only a single new line on it, a simple question:

Do you just see me… the way I see you?

Hermione flung her arms around Harry, and just as her mirror counterpart had done with his, pulled Harry into the most ardently passionate kiss of her life. Hermione never wanted this moment to end, as though this right now was the happiest she would ever be. When she finally pulled away to take a breath, after what felt like a life time, Hermione looked up into Harry's Emerald Green eyes, those beautiful loving eyes, and said "Yes… I only see you."

"I've wanted so long for that… for this to be true Hermione… but… what about Ron? For all these years, I thought you loved him… not me?" Harry asked.

"I… did, at least I think now I convinced myself I did. But I always knew it could never really work between Ron and I, … not as long as I wanted something,…wanted someone else. But I thought that guy, that he was in love Cho Chang, and then Ginny Weasley.

So Ron… well he was my silver medal. When I kissed him during the battle I did it because I thought we were going to die, But as I did I realized something, it was like kissing my brother, I'd always love him… but I'd never be in love with him." Hermione explained

"But Ron still loves you doesn't he?" Harry asked

"Yes, just the way Ginny loves you, but we can't love them back, not properly anyway, and so they are either hurt now or latter but either way we hurt them." Hermione replied.

"Not if we stop right now, not if you go back to him and we pretend like none of this ever happened." Harry said

"I can't Harry, not now, knowing that you love me, the way I've always loved you. I could never even pretend to be Happy with anyone else." Hermione stated plainly.

"Hermione…" Harry started but she interrupted him.

"Come with me Harry." She said taking his hand and leading him out of the drawing room.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked her

"You'll see" She said leading him up the stairs. She wanted to prove to him that it could only ever be Harry she'd love from here on. They entered Sirius old Bedroom, it unlike all the others was bright and warm, decorated in the gold and red of Gryffindor. Hermione lead Harry over to the bed, then releasing his hand, she reached up and began undoing her robes nerves running wild through her body.

"Hermione… Your trembling… you don't have to do this." Harry said.

"No Harry, I want to… it's just… I've never done this with anyone before." She assured him.

"Me either" He replied

This seemed to calm Hermione's nerves somewhat, she finished removing her robes revealing the simple red lace bra and matching Tanga briefs she had thrown on this morning.

_Oh If I had known where I'd end up today…_

"Hermione…Your more beautiful then I ever imagined" Harry stated, his eyes wide, mouth hung slightly open at the vision in front of him.

Hermione reached up behind Harry's neck and undid the facings on his robes letting them fall to the floor revealing him to be warring only a pair of crimsion red boxers.

_Hhhaa mmm. He's so… Perfect. _Hermione thought as she ran her hands slowly up his chest and placed them upon Harry's shoulders.

" I can't believe this is really happening" Harry said

"Me either" Hermione replied just before she kissed him once again, pulling him down on to the bed, on top of her.

"I Love you Hermione Granger" Harry said with a passion in his eyes she had never seen the like of before.

"I Love you too Harry Potter, and I always will." She said speaking for the first time the truth in her heart. And with that, they commenced the most magical night of their lives.


	2. The Journal

**The Journal**

Ginny heard the distinct Crack of someone disapperating as she descended the final flight of stairs of burrow, into the kitchen, to find her brother staring out the back door at something, or rather the lack of someone.

"Hey Ron, who were you yelling at just now? Who's left?" Ginny knew of course, it must be Hermione, who else could it be?

"She's gone." Ron said, "Gone after Potter."

"Hmmm… well about time" Ginny said

"What?" Ron replied shocked his sister seemed to have been expecting this.

"Oh come on Ron, has Hermione ever not run to Harry's side?" Ginny asked him "Frankly I'm surprise she lasted as long as she did, without hearing from him, before a break like this."

"Really? You seem very casual about the fact Hermione has run off to take his side, the guy who up and left you in tears." Ron inquired.

"He didn't Ron." Ginny replied.

"Whatcha mean he didn't? You cried for two straight days after he disappeared." Ron protested.

"I wasn't talking about the tears part…" Ginny said, Ron looked confounded by this, "… I'm talking about the leaving me part Ron."

"Well he's not here with you is he?" Ron questioned her

"No but he never was… Harry was never really with me." Ginny replied.

"What do you mean he's never been with you, you two have been an item for nearly two years now." Ron said.

Ginny let out an exasperated sigh. "… Ron…, I've been with Harry, yeah, but if we are just going based on how long I've been in love with him we have to go back about eight years now don't we?"

"Yeah but I mean he's been … well he's had feelings for you, since about the start of our 6th year." Ron said.

"No Ron he hasn't. ...Ron two years ago I… I did something stupid… and desperate" Ginny said

"What are you getting at Gin?" Ron asked

"Well that year on the first day of class, the first lesson the 5th years ever had with Slughorn, he taught us about … love potions." Ginny replied

"Love potions? Yeah he showed us those too. What about it?" Ron asked

"Ron I… I wanted Harry to love me so badly for so long, and I, I thought if I could just give him a nudge in the right direction, maybe it would be enough to bring him the rest of the way."

"Ginny… What did you do? You didn't…?" Ron inquired dreading the answer he expected was coming, and sure enough…

"Yes Ron, I started dosing Harry's pumpkin Juice each morning. I did it every day for about 2 months, before I decided one morning to see if it had given him the nudge he need or if it was just the potion making him love me. It turned out it was the latter, the first day he went without it… it was like things were back to the way they had always been…. But I, I couldn't accept that, not after I had finally had what I wanted for so long. So after a few days…I started with the potion again…. Don't you see Ron? He's only ever been forced to love me." Ginny explained.

"What? No, wait, Hang on a minute, we were gone for nearly a year, you can't have been giving him the potion while we were on the run? And I can remember seeing him watching for your name on the Marauders map at night, watching you and drinking himself to sleep from that flask, guy must have gone through hundreds of bottles of Butterbeer from that thing." Ron insisted.

"Did he ever offer you some?" Ginny asked

"No… I don't think he even knew that I knew about his nightly ritual." Ron admitted.

"He did." Ginny answered.

"How could you know that?" Ron asked

"I found this…third day after Harry left, I don't know if he left it as some form of explanation, or he just forgot it… But the day I read it was the day the tears stopped for me" Ginny said placing a leather bound crimson journal on the table.

"I remember those, that's one of the journals Hermione gave Harry and I as part of our Christmas presents a few years back. Thought he just threw it in his trunk and forgot about it though same as I did. You saying he actually kept up with it?" Ron asked

"Yeah, there's a lot in there I doubt Harry has ever said to anyone… things he couldn't, he wouldn't say." Ginny said.

"Like what?" Ron asked intrigued

"Like what he really feels, for…" Ginny trailed off.

"Feels for what, for you?" Ron asked

"Well yeah that too. Ron he talks about keeping up with his doses. Do know why he was staring at the map for my name each night, because he was trying to make sure the potion would keep forcing him to love me." Ginny explained "It's all in there, believe me."

"But why? Why would Harry do that?" Ron asked

"You don't know? You call yourself his best friend, but you really don't know him at all do you Ron? The kind of person he is? Harry Potter is the guy to lay down on the wire, let it cut him, let it tare him, so that the next guy, his apparent best friend in this case, can walk over him scathed." Ginny said. "That selflessness, its part of what I love about Harry."

"Ginny you're going to have to stop talking in riddles, Hermione isn't here to translate for me alright?" Ron quipped.

"No she isn't is she? She's finally where she aught to have been all along though. At least I hope she is…I hope she managed to find him. It certainly took her long enough to go though. I just hope she didn't give Harry to much of a head start. You know, you two, You and Harry I mean, you both think Hermione is so brilliant about everything… and she is mostly,… but when it comes to matters of the heart… she can be as thick as you some times Ron." Ginny said.

"You WANT Hermione to find him?" Ron said shocked

"Well yeah, because I want him to be happy again. I want them both to be happy again… don't you? Ron,… Harry and Hermione… well they're… harmony." Ginny said "…Or maybe I should say HARRMIONE." She said with a chuckle. "One can't ever really be without the other, when you take one away, the other is left a mere shadow of their former self." Ginny said.

"Okay Ginny when did you get so whimsically eloquent? Ron quipped.

"I didn't "She grinned back at him. " Harry did. I'm paraphrasing of course, but more or less, it's the way he talks about her in there." Ginny explained.

"He said that? About Hermione?" Ron asked a little shocked.

"…and more… much more… Oh don't look at me like that, you're in there too, we all are… But I don't think there is a page in there where Harry doesn't mention Hermione. He loves her Ron. I think he always has." Ginny said

"He…He said that, in there he said he loves Hermione?!" Ron asked in disbelief.

"Well no, not in so many words, but if you read it, I think even you'd see it's pretty clear how Harry feels about her." Ginny replied.

"But… But then why? Why did he never say anything, why did he never make a play? Why drug himself to be in love with you?" Ron pondered.

"You haven't been listening have you? He didn't _Make A Play_ because that's not who he is, He's not someone who could ever put what he wants before the people he cares about, before what you wanted!" Ginny said forcefully trying to make Ron hear this time. " and as for me…I think it was an escape for him, after all if it was making Harry love me then maybe the potion was covering up his feelings for Hermione, maybe it made watching you two a little more… bearable for him.

"I can't believe you'd be so causal about this!" Ron said

"I understand it Ron, I know what he's going through, what he's gone through. I know what it is to want something, someone that you tell yourself…, that you know you can't have." Ginny replied.

"Okay so fine, lets say this; making himself love you when he doesn't, lets say that makes sense…It doesn't, It's ridiculous,… but if for a moment say I accept your explanation as making even a lick of sense, … WHY STOP NOW? Why go all this time and now all of a sudden he decides to leave." Ron demanded.

"Ron how long do you think a person can really live that way? Up to now I don't think he had a choice but to hide it or hurt you two… did he? Could you have really accepted it if he had said something sooner?" Ginny asked.

" Of course he could've…" Ron tried to say but Ginny was having none of it.

"Really? … you think so, here…" Ginny said pushing the Journal across the table. "Take a look at 94's entry for November 15th!" She said turning to the entry and laying it open in front of her brother.

_Nov. 15__th__ '94_

_It's been a little over two weeks, why did my name have to come out of that Dam Goblet!  
__Everyone in the school, even the Gryffindors seem to hate me. It's almost as bad as two years__ ago, when they all though I was the one setting Syltherins monster on people._

_No scratch that, at least then Ron believed me. But now… I can't even lay in bed without hearing his Potter stinks badge spinning round. I'd give him my spot if I could, don't know why he'd want it though… Just yet another chance for me to probably get myself killed…only this time…  
__  
Well I won't be alone, Hermione has been great, I don't know How I'd be handling all of this without her… still though… I wish I just knew why, is it the Prize money? I'd give Him the Galleons if I thought he'd take it…  
__I guess it doesn't matter, the point is I'm going to have to figure out how to do this without him… _

The look of utter shame, and regret on Ron's face said it all. "You see? As far as Harry's ever known you'd abandon him for just believing he had stolen your chance for some gold and some glory even when it wasn't by choice, Ron. How do think the guy who wrote that would expect you to react if you thought he was stealing Hermione from you?" Ginny asked her Brother.

"That… That was ages ago…" Ron said trying to excuse it away with the passage of time.

" Alright, well How about something more recent then?" Ginny said turning to November 2nd '97

_Nov. 2__nd__ '97_

_Ron's gone. _

_I don't really blame him though, I think he's afraid Hermione and I are spending to much time alone together. I don't mean to… it just goes so much quicker, figuring things out with her._

_But I… _

_I know I've failed him, failed them both. They both look at me like I should know what to do, where to go, how to win. And he's right I should, It's my responsibility to protect everyone… _

_I've always known what needs to be done, but I've always need Hermione for the How, and Ron for the why. I can't believe I thought I would be able to go do this on my own last summer… If Ron hadn't stopped me then I probably wouldn't have even made it this far… But tonight, for a moment, I thought that's exactly how it was going to be._

_Hermione wouldn't go though, I don't know what I've done to deserve such loyalty from her. She's already given up so much, and now she's given up Ron too… I'll never be able to forgive myself for that. _

Ron looked as though he might cry. "I… I never thought… I never realized… I wasn't Jealous of them... I was worried about Mum, and dad, and all of you."

"That you're a bad friend Ron!" Ginny had had it with her brothers stupidity, she launched to what quickly became an impassioned rant at Ron.

"Over and over again you Abandon him when he needs you most, and sure you come back eventually, but the point is you leave.

Think about it Ron, there were only two ways it could have gone. Either Harry tells Hermione how he feels, and she says yes, she feels the same way, and you never speak to him again. OR she says no she doesn't and he loses you both… either way Harry loses.

He couldn't risk that, on the slim hope that for once you wouldn't be a complete ass! Harry spent the last 7 years hearing from everyone how he was expected to be this great savior, Even I am willing to admit I loved him because I wanted to love the Chosen One, and have him love me. Harry spent all that time having Dumbledore whispering in his ear, how it was his responsibility to save everyone. AND he KNEW he would need two things, Hermione and YOU. So how could he tell anyone what he really felt?"

"And now… your saying now that it's over, that he doesn't need us anymore?" Ron interjected.

"No, but I think now that he believes his task complete, it allowed him, to let himself leave, not because he wanted to but because he thought he had to." Ginny said.

Ron looked confused.

"Look...there is one more entry I think you should read Ron. Turn to the end" Ginny said. Ron took the journal, the leather tome which contained such incite, incite he had somehow never seen, into the man who's best friend he was supposed to be, who's best friend he'd failed to be. He turned to the last entry.

_July 2__nd__ '98_

_We… they… Buried Fred Today._

_Ron blames me, I know he does. I think all the Weasley's do… Oh the rest would never admit it but I can see it in there faces._

_I tried to comfort Ginny, I think She was closer to Fred and George then any of her other Brothers. It's hit her really hard. Which makes what I know I have to do even harder… _

_I know it will hurt her, at least at first… I hope some day she'll understand. _

_But I can't stay here. The rest don't want me anymore, and Ginny… I can't give her the future, the family she wants, not unless I stop taking the potion, and if I do that… Then it won't be her I love anymore… It'll be __**Her**__, again… _

_I can't do that to Ron, I've hurt him, hurt them all enough for one life time… _

_It's too bad really, this place… there was a time it was the only place but Hogwarts that ever felt like HOME._

_I can bear it though,… the only thing I truly regret is; For me to give Ron a chance to be Happy… I'll have to leave Hermione too…_

Ron stood up from the table " What have I done..." He mouthed as he headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Ginny asked.

Ron stopped his hand on the doorknob. "You're right Gin… I've been a terrible friend. No it's worse then that, Harry's not just my friend, he's my brother, out of all of them the closest one I've got. And you're right I have abandoned them both far too often. But there is something else you're right about, I always go back."

He grabbed his broom and headed out into the yard Ginny following behind.

"What about Hermione?" Ginny asked

"Ginny…" Ron said looking back, "Hermione has loved Harry since she was 11 years old… guy fought a troll for her after all." He said with a smirk. "You know we haven't kissed, or even held hands since the Battle. I think she thought we were going to Die Ginny, and she wanted to give me one last kindness. But love? …

"Don't you love her?" Ginny asked "Are you actually going to give her up?"

"I think I loved the fact that for once someone had chosen me over him, but actually love the girl… if I'm honest I don't think so. And while I'm being honest I think she only chose me because she though she couldn't have him."

Ron mounted his broom.

"Besides it's not a matter of giving up. You've never seen the way she looks at him? Any time he and I have ever been at odds, who's side is Hermione at… where is she even now… with Harry. It's like you said… they're HARRMOINE.

They belong only together… and I belong by their side."

"How will you find them?" Ginny asked

"Same thing that lead me back all those months ago…" Ron said, with that he pulled the Deluminator out of his pocket, mounted it to the compass grip on his broom opened it and said "Help me find him… one last time." A ball of light flew off into the air, and Ron speed off behind it.

"That's the brother I know… Now go and bring them home." Ginny said.


End file.
